Drowning

And I don't know why I still love you.
I don't know why I even care.
I don't know why I'm still thinking of you,
when I know you'll never be there.
I swear, I swear.
In my heart,
In my mind,
I am drowning all the time.
Just can't see the light.
I don't know,
what to do.
Still broken over you,
broken over you.

Over and Over

Not sure what to say or do.
Still obsessing over you.
Sleep won't come, no appetite,
no more feelings of delight.
Why do I feel like we're done,
when we have not yet begun?
We barely talk, nothing to share,
both our hearts are cold and bare.
I do not feel I'm the one,
that you love, our time is done.
Would have loved you all my days,
with you, wanted to laugh and play.
But I guess that will not be,
I am too full of suffering.
My heart, broken before we met,
I can't be fixed, already set.
On depression grim and deep,
how my eyes so often weep.
And so I slowly fade away,
until the not so distant day,
when we end this tragic play.

Sad Morning

Once again I think of you,

As I wake and always do,

But I only sit and stew,

Feeling lonely sad and blue.

I just don’t know what to do,

I can’t even talk to you,

No good morning or I love you.

Words we share not even few.

I try to banish my love

Calling out to God above,

But it will not go away

I guess it is here to stay.

Why do I still even care,

When I know you won’t be there,

Already laid my heart bare,

Covered now with bleeding tears.

But I know it’s my own fault,

Being lost in blackest dark,

Did not consider your heart,

Barely let our love even start.

Could not take my own advice,

To be patient kind and nice,

Now I must pay horrid price,

I have chased her far now thrice!

I just can’t even feel right,

What has happened to my might?

For a week I was so bright,

Now I weep sad and contrite.

Just could not leave you alone

Now I gnash my teeth and moan

Writhe and cry with feeble groans

Heart and soul so very prone

I can’t write this anymore,

My soul is so very torn,

And I feel far too forlorn,

Our love I will always mourn.

Love's Keening Wail of Death

Oh please, oh no, say it is not so!

My love has now told me to go.

Said to me with heart of stone:

“Show your face to me no more

And just leave me the hell alone!

You are dark as earthen loam!

Never shall you bring me home!

Your mouth it froths with rabid foam!”

How can I learn to stow this woe

Which permeates my very soul?

Now I wander to and fro

Fighting my eternal foe

With no spear nor knife nor bow,

Only pain ‘pon me bestowed.

Love for me shall never grow,

A pleasure I shall never know,

Death for me comes far too slow.

Let my eyes be picked by crows.

God I beg thee take me home,

Or let me fall so far below,

For I no longer wish to roam.

Turn the last page of my tome

As I kneel before your throne

Let me keen my final tone

All this to thee I do bemoan.

Silence

The silence tells me all I need to hear.
There's no chance you'll ever want me near.
And though I must now face my worst fears.
In my heart I'll always hold you dear.

We never even had a chance to try.
All that I can do is wail and cry.
Do not be afraid to tell my bye.
I will rise and heal again in time.

I'm just glad that you can love again.
In this way we all will truly win.
I will banish all this pain within.
And one day my life I will begin.

Not sure why you had to let me go.
Wish you would have at least let just me know.
And while I am still lost amidst the snow,
at least we can both now start to grow.

I will always think fondly of you.
It wasn't long till our love you outgrew.
Yes right now i feel so down and blue,
but my trials I always get trough.

Lift my head and wipe my tired eyes.
Wait for us to say our new goodbyes.
Love is born but yet it also dies.
After it all, from ashes, hope it flies.

Loveamorphisis

Good morning my love,
oh I hope you slept well!
I confess I did not sleep at all.
I have been musing not snoozing you see,
and driving myself up the wall.

I am addicted, sublimely afflicted,
to you more than anything else.
I try not to think about you all the time,
but I just can not help myself.

This beautiful pain that I feel is so real
and it cuts to my core like a blade.
Sometimes it might take incisions to heal,
but this flame inside me never fades.

I've never felt exactly like this,
it defies all attempts to define.
But I admit, above all it is bliss,
and within me it's tightly entwined.

Please have a great day, and I will as well,
the sun will soon shine warm above.
Something so sweet deep inside of me swells,
metamorphosed by this love.

Consuming Love

How can I begin to explain,

these feelings in my soul.

To define without refrain,
without seeming so droll.

I yearn for you, I burn for you,
more than I even know.
Can barely put it into words,
but still I long to show.

I'm addicted, afflicted,
away from you, restricted.
Feel like a, love sick kid,
I'm yours, I'm convicted.
All tied up, and twisted,
Just as I, predicted.

And my desire for you is a fire growing ever higher,
it will never start to fade nor will it ever cease or tire.
I would walk a million miles through the murkiest of mires,
Marching midst the deepest briers just to try and see you smile.

Every day, I stay away, I start to sway, a little more.
In a way, well you could say, this fray that I, call life's a bore.
So I pray, with howling brays, oh please allay, this maze, this chore.
Traipse with me through ocean waves and lay with me upon the shore.

We don't have very long to live, well, nor does any one.
The most important day in life is but the one you're on.
One day we won't wake and find that all the days are gone.
Life itself is something that does not last very long.
I need to be close to you, to your story and your song..
I just want to be with you before we sound our gongs.

Unstarted Unfinished

This isn't going to work, is it.

Feed me platitudes.

The pretty lies that make us weep.

Forever unfinished, for we never started.

You obviously are not very interested in me.

That's how I feel, I can't deny it.

Nor will I try to any longer.

Always knew love was a myth.

Why do I even bother to seek it?

Its as if I try to catch God in my hand.

You are always there, talking to someone.

But I, get to hang in limbo.

Not that I blame you of course.

There's nothing to talk about.

Not with me at least.

I won't play head games.

Don't play hard to get.

It is a useless ploy on me.

At least you are able to love again.

Love^7

Every day I love you more

than I had the day before.

There is so much to adore,

You're the one I was made for.

Long to hold you in my arms,

feel your tender loving charms,

keep you safe and free from harm,

till our new romantic farm.

Gaze into your gorgeous eyes,

show you you're my greatest prize,

make you feel the finest highs

hear your loud passionate cries.

Run my fingers through your hair,

lay my heart before you bare,

let you know how much I care,

make with you a perfect pair.

Say  I love you every day,

with you laugh,  joke, jump, and play,

prove to you I'm here to stay,

cheer you up when skies are gray.

Be the one you always need,

all my love to you I'll feed,

you're expectations exceed,

I know that we can succeed. 

Be your partner and your friend,

any strength you need I'll lend,

to your needs always attend,

one great day with you transcend.

Meaning What?

I don't mean to sound contrived

but I don't want to be alive.

Into death to take a dive

so deep that I do not survive.

Set me free from mortal chore

for life is such a horrid bore.

I just don't like it anymore

and want to walk the golden shore.

Each day is harder than the last

one that has come and now is past.

Untie me now from the mast

for misery is unsurpassed.

Every second getting closer

to the day I am no more sir.

Thought I could be a composer

but I was only a poser.

I wish tonight I could have slept

so death my life could intercept.

In my rest upon me crept

so dawn from my eyes was kept.

I think I should end my life

with pills or jump or  steely knife.

I'm just tired of the strife

the tragedy and pain so rife.

I am going to sleep now

and hope and pray and plead somehow.

That the gods do not allow

mine eyes to open on my brow.

Thought at first that love could save me

from my head so weak and hazy.

Now it seems a thought so crazy

for thoughts of hope were far too hasty.

And I know that somebody

will show her these words that I bleed.

Then she'll run farther from me

and her face I will never see.

Wish we could have had a chance

besides this long distance romance.

I am lost within my trance

and now within my mind we dance.

I love you so very much

that I know I am just a crutch.

My love for you now is such

that I won't taint you with my touch.

One day you will forget me

it won't be very hard you see.

At least then you will be free

from my epic tragedy.

Whyning Plea

I am not worthy of your time.

Not worth more than a "hey" or 'hi".

Not worth a goodnight reply.

Do you want to say goodbye?

You say that you don't ignore me,

but that's exactly how it seems!

Now the heartache starts to team,

and I unravel at my seams.

If you want to let me go,

then PLEASE just hurry up and do so!

I already feel so low,

what's more pain for me to sow?

 Do not waste your time on me,

I am only misery,

In time I guess you will see,

and then you'll want to be set free.

Ignore Me Please

 Ignore me, it's cool, see, there's nothing, that I need, to do, anymore.

for soon I, will be freed, there will be, no stressing, or raps on, my door.

The best thing, for you'd be, to try and, forget me, I am, no more.

Times seem, to seek the, impending, transiting, the end of the, chore.

Love me, and hate me, berate me and fake me,

I don't see, further need, to not be, absentee,

I'm losing, and sinking, back into, my hole.

Don't try to save me, forget me, flee from me,

can't banish this feeling, I won't try any more.

You won't, talk to me, it has been, for days see

Even though, I plead, and cry on my knees, we

are lost in the storm.

It was nice, knowing thee, but now we're just joking.

Why try, anymore?

The Start of the Fall

Its how it starts,
The little lies,
That brings the tears
to lovers' eyes.

"I love you",
yes,
this I know,
but it takes more
than words to show,
that which heals
and makes us grow,
I want to free us
from the snow.

As I am shut out,
I will,
fight and shout,
I won't go still.
I shall rant and rave until,
you find my words
so very shrill!

My love for you,
so very strong
that I will just
be pulled along,
like a fish right
on the hook,
I'm a dusty
open book.

Hear me whine
and hear me plead!
Can you not
hear my soul sing?
Tell me 

what...
is happening...
and listen

to my pleading rings.