Here We Go Again!

As soon as I woke,
anxiety took,
ahold of my soul and it SQUEEZED.

The breath left my lungs,
a few tears met my eyes,
I laid in my bed and just cringed.

I forced myself slowly
to rise and survey,
the sun as it danced through the glass.

I thought to myself:
"every day that has be so thus far,
is now past".

I didn't feel better.
Not really, at all.
I just forced myself to move on.

Though things are bleak,
I will stand on my feet,
and march on along through the day.

My heart it is heavy,
my eyes they are weary,
I'm tired and sick and I'm sad.

Yet I know one day
if I just move along
I will reach the times that aren't so bad.

What to Say

I do not know what to say,

I wish it all would go away.

Me, a broken jar of clay,

boring, hopeless, tragic play.

I am full of deep dismay,

sadness is all I convey,

nothing good do I display,

slowly here I do decay.

Lost here now within the fray,

wow these words are so cliche.

Life for me is grim and gray,

hope I don't wake to see the day.

Feeling So Cold

I am less than nothing.

Not even a worm.

Done with any wanting.

Always cold, not warm.

I will be forgotten.

Not even a trace.

My soul is dark and rotten.

Oblivion my place.

No longer like living.

I am the undead.

Unworthy of forgiving,

Deep cold earth my bed.

Should have died at birth,

really wish i had,

I've no time for mirth,

with numbness I am clad.

Neither sad nor happy.

And not in between.

Epitome of crappy,

I'm but a latrine.

Just forget about me.

Not worthy of your time.

At least you can now be free,

as long as you aren't mine.

My mind is just  a desert,

frozen arctic ice.

With disaster I flirt,

I want no advice.

Please just someone kill me,

please just let me die.

This is my one last plea,

I beg you to comply.

Bringing Me Down

I'm bringing me down and that's bringing me down.

I do not know anything else.

I wear a shattered bleeding crown,

I just can't help myself.

Spiraling into my hell,

I'm ringing out the broken bells,

no one else can even tell,

the depths of fear that I here quell.

Suddenly I feel like fleeing

from myself and all my bleating,

oh this horrid sinking feeling,

like something upon me feeding.

Something evil and malignant,

but I know its but a figment.

I am just so damned indignant,

plus my brain's damaged equipment.

I am trapped within this world

my sails to never be unfurled.

Through this orbit I am hurled,

in fetal position curled.

I let down all those I love,

and they'd be wise to be rid of

this tainted crazy mutant dove,

far from them me yes they should shove.

So now I ruin everything

that was supposed to make me sing.

Addicted to my suffering

and all the trauma that it brings.

Happiness^-1

Nothing that I ever do

can seem to help me break right through

the walls I've built with my issues,

I think my brain might need a coup.

I am lost within myself

and no one else can seem to help.

I am but a wailing whelp

crying out with painful yelp.

Always feeling so abandoned,

mired, lost, forgotten, stranded,

with despair my heart is branded,

need to have my head examined.

Constantly feel sad and tired,

misery all I've acquired,

lost all that I have desired,

my own mind I've not deciphered.

My Anxiety

Anxiety is filling me and I just don't know what I need

to do to keep my heart inside my chest.

Now my pulse is hammering and all my words are stammering

it feels like I am stuck inside a test.

All these people yammering and blathering of everything

I really think my mind could use a rest.

 Now I just lay on my bed I'm filling with such awful dread

 I never thought that I could be this stressed.

I can not seem to conceive exactly what is happening

and all I know is i feel quite distressed.

What the hell is wrong with me and why am I here simpering

sometimes I think that I am just possessed.