My Curse

My life has been cursed

by a curse so profound

that it tears me apart

and it brings my soul down.

Down to the depths,

of Hades itself,

where day turns to night

and my soul cries for help.

Help from above

or help from below.

Which shall it be and oh

how shall I know?

I know that I wander

so lost and afraid,

until the day that

my body is laid.

Down in the earth 

or perhaps in the sea.

All that I know

is that this fragile being

shall be scattered one day

as the dust in the wind.

Forgotten by all of my

fam'ly and friends.

They too you see

shall become but as dirt.

And none of us ever

shall know any hurt.

No pain or fear

or depression or sin,

just peace and quiet,

asleep in our dens.

Eons stretch on

in the eternal tide.

All we can do,

is enjoy the ride.

Unplaced Dream X

I treasure you,
a gift from God.
And with shouts of triumph trod,
I will rouse my heart and bod
now free of misery,
unshod.
Now I need not worry here,
no more mewling whining fear,
for I have my heart most dear
and feel like shedding happy tears.
I even dreamed of you last night,
there was not a bit of fright,
as I met you by the banks,
of that narrow river.
In a small abode by,
docks
set up from the tides by rocks, 
we played a luna story.
In a game,
within a dream,
leading squad of fuzzy things
 dancing all in sync,
yea we,
did battle with a shadow.
As we passed through those strange halls,
a hanging mask my vision saw,
sitting there upon the wall
looking much like bear.
Yellow silk and crystal eyes,
it came as a slight surprise.
Perhaps we'll need it later?
There were conversations,
but I only know the gist.
Talks of food and livelihoods,
something kin to this.
Old white haired grandmother,
iron bearded bronze skinned man.
A sweet soft kiss between us as
I reached out for your hand.

A psalm of love

It's not that I love you
but have loved cross all of time.
Light embraces darkness,
I am yours and you are mine. 
You have freed my soul from death
with God sent words and rhymes.

As for pain and sorrow,
they now bite much less.
I feel, yes, I'm joyous!
And my soul feels far too blessed.

Yet I still harbor darkness,
cradled in my heart.
She's the holy mother and
we'll never be apart.
From her womb
existence
as we know it boldly sprang.
Shining forth from night's sweet shroud,
she birthed the light that sang.

Now my mind is spinning,
whirling cosmic winds,
buffeting against me as
our souls entwine again.
Webs of golden gossamer,
unbreakable strands,
link the seeds of heaven,
in a great celestial band.

Dreams of past pages 1

I have seen Atlantis fall,
the Kracken smashing down,
ivory towers, shining walls,
while most her people drowned.

From the tower, walls of glass,
I saw great tentacles that grasp.
Screaming people in a mass,
within the monster's clasp.

Mothers and their children cowed,
the anguish very drear,
powerless among the crowd,
resigned to death and fear.

Many more could have escaped
while nobles pled for calm.
Milling there, they stood and gaped,
gates shut without a qualm.

Leaders gone, I glimpsed the throng,
from glass on second floor.
Betrayal oh so very wrong
I must unlock the door.

In they swam ,the panic rife,
a human dam, of pain and strife.
One so scared, that with keen knife,
Stabbed me once but spared my life.

Many ran towards the heights,
a strange forbidden place.
Elevators made of light,
fried all without a trace.

With a trail of blood I led
them down the hallowed halls.
Into a secret entrance spread
discretely on the wall.

I don't recall much more than this.
A vivid pulsing dream.
Yet I long with wistful wish,
to know just what it means.

Eons

I don't want to wait
another hundred thousand years,
trapped within the darkness
of my anguish shame and fears.
Now that you have found me,
how can I let you go?
What is going on
and will release I ever know?
I am lost and shattered,
dredging up despair.
Now the panic rises
dreading you will not be there!
How long have I waited?
How long has it been?
When will I find grace and love
by finding you again?
Please don't leave without me,
please don't pass me by.
I feel like I've waited here
for most the whole of time.
And yet, I'll keep on waiting.
I have no other choice.
I just want to glimpse your face
and hear your soothing voice.
I am searching for you,
screaming in the night.
Grace yourself upon me
so my soul once more takes flight.

untitled gleaning of fear

I feel the fear, I glean the gloom.

Earthshattering, impending doom.

The sounds I hear shriek out of tune
as they assail my ears.

From the darkness, glint of light,

granting but a brief respite

from mad midnight's crushing bite,

it left me far too soon.

Once again, I cringe in fright,

devoid of most my will to fight,

painting pages, left to right

mind raving as a loon.

Damnation for me, after all.

Stagnation, eternal call.

Pain and darkness, held in thrall.

Dropping deep, braying bawl.

Dust filled eyes, slink and crawl.

Forbidden now, even to die.

Forever more to weep and cry.

Never more to see the sky.

Unbidden, light just passes by.

pit-ence

" Cast me not back to the pit
mine mind is weak
sad soul unfit!"
Mewling mad
amidst a fit
maligned upon the floor.

" Relent, release
please let me speak!"
*unearthly wild warbling shriek*
Gargling tears
both black and bleak
that leak back to their core.

Descending down
so dank and deep
*choking sob with woeful weep*
clawing walls so rank and steep
to fall forever more.

Frenzied flailing
sorrow steeps
silent shadows slowly seep
clitter clatter
crawl and creep
despairing spirits soar.

How the horrid howling swells
discordant chiming
chitinous bells
wailing winds
discordant knells.
Symphonies
they now know well.

an Angelic dream

My love she came to me at night
to ease my weary soul.
Appearing in resplendent might
within my gloomy hole.

As a teacher, she is dressed,
skirt and blouse so finely pressed,
hair coiffed up tall in a bun,
and talks to me of joy and fun.

I can not recall the words
'cept save a very few.
Everything save her was blurred
yet love shone fiercely through.

My lover comers to me with light,
dispelling shadow's sheen.
Faith and hope and love so bright,
it's like I've never seen.

the gate

Just a pinprick, oh so slight.
glinting with eternal might,
shines forth 'midst the dark of night
to place a path, true and right.
Plant your feet so firm alight,
sped forth with the speed of light.

Faintly lighted single path,
meandering through shadow
untrodden by feet of flesh,
and very seldom traveled
twists bellow unseen for sight,
by darkness lies unraveled
here outside a gate of gold,
for battle hosts are gathered.

'pon the wall a golden gate
stemming past the tide of hate.
Through the eons, it just waits.
Never has it shut too late.
Built from purple pulsing bricks,
'pon which darkness cannot stick
though as oil 'gainst it slicks.

Head and shoulder above me,
rose gilt gate so filigreed.
From the nothing finely freed,
now with light, something to see!
A vine doth climb around the rim
with a palm inscribed within:
the gate that has always been.

Thought Wreckage

     seem
I                 "to've" forgotten,


"dis-"                                         say.
         "intended"
                           to
        this
'Pon        ve-
                     ry
                           instance
pre-
       cise-
               ly  today.
                                hope
                      'bout
            thing
Some-

I
   was
           going
                     to
                          write.
      as
Yet     with
                   these lines
it all
         just

                        seems
quite...


                        trite.

First TST NFT

Never child

Once looked back in time to see,
Blindness blindness,  see for me.
One young child stared at the Sun,
To scorch a delicate scar across the face of frightful dreams.
Standing on the only piece of earth not fallen.
Better to fall with the rest,
Than to carry that load on such a perch.
Never remembering the wings
Or how the small shoulders bled.

The Drums

The Drums [ An Ode to Poe's "the Bells"

1


Hear the beating of the drums -


   Urban drums!


What disrespect and danger that their dreadful droning thrums!


   They go thumpy thumpy thumpy


In the day and in the night!


   With people waking from their slumber


All the heavens start to wonder


   Why is peace and quiet torn asunder;


Going BOOM BOOM BOOM


   Foretelling societal doom


Oh the beatimbambulation that so arrogantly thrums


  From the drums, drums, drums, drums, drums.


From the beatimbambulation of the drums.


2


 You can always hear the drums


   Droning drums


What monstrous cacophony arises from their sums!


   All day long, throughout the night


Hear them pounding out their spite


   From the rolling golden amps,


Forevermore.


   What a caustic chorus floats


To ears of those, who hear the notes


   In the night.


Oh, from out the gating guns


   What an air of disrespect perpetually thrums!


   How it thrums!


   How it BRUMS!


In the present how it comes


   Of the blindness that it's from.


Oh the beating and the booming


   Of the drums drums drums


Of the drums drums drums drums drums.


Oh the racing an the basing of the drums.



3




Hear the midnight drums


   Brazen drums!


From your slumber wakened now, just when you thought it done.


   There is no more peace in night


As Poe says "they scream out their [fright]"


   "Too much horrified to speak"


"They can only shriek, shriek, shriek,"


   "Out of tune."

nothing is better than nothing

Nothing is better than nothing!

Nothing, oh isn't it GRAND!

I show you, everyone, nothing,

If you will just take my hand!

Far beyond the outmost reaches

of our very own existence

something so malignant tries to hide.

I can feel it lurking there

just like a cloud up in the air

made of such an unforgiving tide.

I will not tell you its name

for it would drive us all insane,

its the madness we all hide inside.

I've fallen, too far

to ever come back home.

I've fallen, too far,

I will always be alone.

Never Scarborough

You need not bring me cambric shirts,
woven with no seam.
No, I need not needlework
that never could be seen.

Take me not to Scarborough,
I'd rather have what's real.
Forgo the impossible,
for iron is not steel.

Bring me not dry water,
or, a feather from a bull.
Bear me not a daughter,
or, a lantern always full.

Love me simple,love me true.
When you wish,then, chide me too.
Do the things, you love to do,
even when, I'm down and blue.

Fear thee not to be yourself,
even when I need your help.
Set me shortly on the shelf,
If too much, I whine and yelp.

Take me to the mountain streams,
expand my mind and teach me things.
Listen to me as I sing
and hold me close when hell's bells ring.

Dry my shirt not on the thorns,
blossoms never shorn.
With it's roses never born,
oh how that bramble did mourn.

Bring me not dry land from sea,
acres of it I don't need.
Show me not the stones that bleed,
or the swine who never feed.

The only way that I would go,
to the fair of Scarborough,
is if my lover there would show,
then, anything, I would forego.

Here We Go Again!

As soon as I woke,
anxiety took,
ahold of my soul and it SQUEEZED.

The breath left my lungs,
a few tears met my eyes,
I laid in my bed and just cringed.

I forced myself slowly
to rise and survey,
the sun as it danced through the glass.

I thought to myself:
"every day that has be so thus far,
is now past".

I didn't feel better.
Not really, at all.
I just forced myself to move on.

Though things are bleak,
I will stand on my feet,
and march on along through the day.

My heart it is heavy,
my eyes they are weary,
I'm tired and sick and I'm sad.

Yet I know one day
if I just move along
I will reach the times that aren't so bad.

Feelings of stone

I am a lone stone
shattered from the firmament.
Once, I was a mountain.
An ancient edifice standing tall and proud.
Immovable, immutable and unchanging.
Upon high, my song soared through the clouds
and rained softly upon the fields at my feet.
My roots stretched far, one with all of the Earth.
I rumbled happily with my brothers.
Our orchestra played for eons.
Its soft slow resonance with megaannum movements.
I paid no attention to the ice, wind, or rain,
shrugging them off with a grinding shout.
But even mountains die,
ground down by the indifference of time.
Then, I split away, from myself.
A victim of cold fingers tearing at my face.
The pain shook me as I fell, screaming at the loss of entirety.
no longer, could I feel the great Earth.
Detached, I sit upon the ground, staring up at what I was,
Slowly becoming soil.
I am a stone,
and I wail here, alone.

Music of the Night

Standing lone amidst the night,
Feeling not a hint of fright,
Not a single shred of fear,
Only joyous sounds I hear.
Bull and tree frogs croak aloud,
Cicadas are buzzing proud
Night’s symphony plays in the shroud.
Gentle rain falls from the clouds.
Hear the brook so swiftly babble,
Crickets chirp with thrumming rattle,
Owl hoots haughty in the trees,
Sounds of oh so many things!
Feel the peace as they do sing
Plus I do not hear the sting
Of mankind’s mad'ning machines.
Fireflies have gone to sleep,
Their soft light no longer seeps,
Hauntingly above the grass
as they drifted slowly past.
Scent of jasmine in the air,
Joy and peace are everywhere,
In tranquility I share,
No worries anger or cares.
Wolf howls faintly in the distance,
Sparking forgotten remembrance,
One with all and everything,
Hearing the creator sing.
Calming spirit moving through me.
Mighty mega-verse I thank thee!
Arms raised to the sky, I feel free.
Blessed by nature’s humble tidings.

I am as I am

Most people seem to think I'm crazy,
possessing mind so sick and hazy,
its not my fault that they don't see,
and hear the things I have since three.

I don't see much, anymore,
at times my blockage I abhor.
But from my mind, the visions pour,
and my spirit form, they soar.

I can not say what they mean,
their true meanings I don't deem.
I won't lie and say I glean,
much acumen from the scenes.

My gift is not interpretation,
others find the imputation,
I strive for the revelation,
existential intimation.

We are cosmic congregations,
trying to form our new nations,
ones of greater acceptations,
universal proclamations.

Try to banish limitation,
find personal inclination,
introspection, incubation,
maturation, adaptation.

Its time for invigoration,
banish the indoctrination,
I will cause much perturbation,
caring not for reputation.

You need some good meditation,
spiritual resuscitation,
heart and soul stabilization,
cleansing of contamination.

Join us, collectivization,
it is reorganization,
such strong diversification,
soon there comes great escalation.

 [to be continued]

Yet More on Love

..... [content lost]
anguish, and indifference.
It is the source of life
and yet a bringer of death.
It is a conundrum,
a drug as addictive as any other.
I wouldn't trade it,
for anything in the world.
It gives my life meaning,
it brings me hope,
and it tears me apart,
all at the same time.
Give me real and painful love
before pleasant dishonest lust.
Love doesn't die.
It grows and evolves.
Lust, only burns bright and dies.
Love strengthens and grows,
it forces introspection.
Lust is static, lacking meaning
beyond immediate physical pleasure.
Give me love, for lust, I do not wish to know.

Over and Over

Not sure what to say or do.
Still obsessing over you.
Sleep won't come, no appetite,
no more feelings of delight.
Why do I feel like we're done,
when we have not yet begun?
We barely talk, nothing to share,
both our hearts are cold and bare.
I do not feel I'm the one,
that you love, our time is done.
Would have loved you all my days,
with you, wanted to laugh and play.
But I guess that will not be,
I am too full of suffering.
My heart, broken before we met,
I can't be fixed, already set.
On depression grim and deep,
how my eyes so often weep.
And so I slowly fade away,
until the not so distant day,
when we end this tragic play.