Heart of stone

My heart is stone,
Igneous rock.
Wrapped in chains
With sturdy lock.
Garbed in whole
By frigid frock.

I am monk,
Of pain and rage.
Railing madness
On this stage.
Gladly locked
Within my cage.

Care no more
If I exist.
Glorious
And blinding bliss.
I am nothing
More than this.

My life, it,
Is not my own.
I am but
A haunting tone.
Forever more
To be alone.

No one looks,
And no one cares.
I am stripped
So fully bare.
Of me you,
Should now beware.

For i have
Not one thing left.
God has kicked me
From the cleft.
Of joy i,
Am now bereft.

Joy and love and hope
Are lies.
All that I
Have left
Is ice.
Numbness though,
Is mighty nice.

Death of the Lion

Normally, he would be here.

Supping with the rest of the pride.

Joyously filling his belly.

Now my eyes are full of tears,

For in the cold earth, lies his hide.

oh my poor beautiful baby.

This is the first night, in so many years.

The sorrow washes like a tide.

And I just try to hold steady.

His roar was a mewl of the sweetest affection.

Noble, pure, and innocent.

And with never a hint of any indignation.

He was the happiest when he could sit in my lap.

Purring so contentedly.

He would arch his back and mew in his own special way.

His name was Leon. But I called him Leo, Lion.

Another King among cats.

I love him so very much, oh how I will miss him.

This Slow Death

I'm dying.

How long will it take?

This slow death wears upon me.

I know, I am on my way.

I eat like a bird,

yet I possess no hunger.

Not even a drop of desire,

to let food pass my lips.

Maybe that is why I am so tired?

But how can I eat?

The very thought of it makes me want to vomit.

Sleep, is the only thing I want.

The only thing I can seem to do.

My chest is tight,

and my thoughts are dim.

If its coming, let it come sooner than later.

What To Do?

I don't know what to do,

or how to do it.

Lost. wandering, forever

seeking a home I will never find.

Can't rise from the pit of despair

that I cast myself inside.

There is no hope for me,

not any longer.

My will is sapped,

a shambling zombie.

So very tired.

Now I lay me.

down to sleep,

I hope the dawn,

I do not see.

Feeling So Cold

I am less than nothing.

Not even a worm.

Done with any wanting.

Always cold, not warm.

I will be forgotten.

Not even a trace.

My soul is dark and rotten.

Oblivion my place.

No longer like living.

I am the undead.

Unworthy of forgiving,

Deep cold earth my bed.

Should have died at birth,

really wish i had,

I've no time for mirth,

with numbness I am clad.

Neither sad nor happy.

And not in between.

Epitome of crappy,

I'm but a latrine.

Just forget about me.

Not worthy of your time.

At least you can now be free,

as long as you aren't mine.

My mind is just  a desert,

frozen arctic ice.

With disaster I flirt,

I want no advice.

Please just someone kill me,

please just let me die.

This is my one last plea,

I beg you to comply.

Bringing Me Down

I'm bringing me down and that's bringing me down.

I do not know anything else.

I wear a shattered bleeding crown,

I just can't help myself.

Spiraling into my hell,

I'm ringing out the broken bells,

no one else can even tell,

the depths of fear that I here quell.

Suddenly I feel like fleeing

from myself and all my bleating,

oh this horrid sinking feeling,

like something upon me feeding.

Something evil and malignant,

but I know its but a figment.

I am just so damned indignant,

plus my brain's damaged equipment.

I am trapped within this world

my sails to never be unfurled.

Through this orbit I am hurled,

in fetal position curled.

I let down all those I love,

and they'd be wise to be rid of

this tainted crazy mutant dove,

far from them me yes they should shove.

So now I ruin everything

that was supposed to make me sing.

Addicted to my suffering

and all the trauma that it brings.

Heart of Ice

I can't sleep and I can't eat,

can barely even feel my feet.

I tongue my broken shattered teeth,

what happened to my belief.

Never meant to feel this way

but now it seems it's here to stay.

Locked within these cold hard veins,

from my cage never to stray.

I will be forever more,

trapped behind sorrows stout door.

I am frozen to the core,

with an icy frigid hoar.

Cover me with ice and cold,

rot my guts with arctic mold,

empty now my once full hold,

I am drifting uncontrolled.

Come aboard my ghastly ship,

and from my cup of sorrows sip.

Kiss my bleeding frozen lips,

from my chest my heart please rip.

Deep within this permafrost,

I am so happily lost.

On the sea of torment tossed,

on my heart, despair embossed.

Joy and hope and light and love,

far from me I'll have them shoved.

These are not things I am of,

what a sad pathetic rub.

I will molder here alone,

belting out with dreary drone,

metered with misery's moan,

such a sad and haunting tone.

Meaning What?

I don't mean to sound contrived

but I don't want to be alive.

Into death to take a dive

so deep that I do not survive.

Set me free from mortal chore

for life is such a horrid bore.

I just don't like it anymore

and want to walk the golden shore.

Each day is harder than the last

one that has come and now is past.

Untie me now from the mast

for misery is unsurpassed.

Every second getting closer

to the day I am no more sir.

Thought I could be a composer

but I was only a poser.

I wish tonight I could have slept

so death my life could intercept.

In my rest upon me crept

so dawn from my eyes was kept.

I think I should end my life

with pills or jump or  steely knife.

I'm just tired of the strife

the tragedy and pain so rife.

I am going to sleep now

and hope and pray and plead somehow.

That the gods do not allow

mine eyes to open on my brow.

Thought at first that love could save me

from my head so weak and hazy.

Now it seems a thought so crazy

for thoughts of hope were far too hasty.

And I know that somebody

will show her these words that I bleed.

Then she'll run farther from me

and her face I will never see.

Wish we could have had a chance

besides this long distance romance.

I am lost within my trance

and now within my mind we dance.

I love you so very much

that I know I am just a crutch.

My love for you now is such

that I won't taint you with my touch.

One day you will forget me

it won't be very hard you see.

At least then you will be free

from my epic tragedy.

Whyning Plea

I am not worthy of your time.

Not worth more than a "hey" or 'hi".

Not worth a goodnight reply.

Do you want to say goodbye?

You say that you don't ignore me,

but that's exactly how it seems!

Now the heartache starts to team,

and I unravel at my seams.

If you want to let me go,

then PLEASE just hurry up and do so!

I already feel so low,

what's more pain for me to sow?

 Do not waste your time on me,

I am only misery,

In time I guess you will see,

and then you'll want to be set free.

Do You Even Know?

I don't think you know how much
this silence hurts, my heart I clutch.

This, may finally see me dead!
For I, am nearly fully bled.

Beating organ, broken down,
as I wail, pitiful sound.
You are here, but not around,
all in time, I will expound.

I have called to you for help,
with my little wolfy yelp.
Yet I'm too far back, on the shelf,
and I no longer want myself.

Don't think I can last much longer.
Your will must be so much stronger,
Than what little I have left,
Stashed within my feeble cleft.
A month or two, and not much more.
then I'll be free of the chore.
This life is a horrid bore
that I no longer have strength for.

The Start of the Fall

Its how it starts,
The little lies,
That brings the tears
to lovers' eyes.

"I love you",
yes,
this I know,
but it takes more
than words to show,
that which heals
and makes us grow,
I want to free us
from the snow.

As I am shut out,
I will,
fight and shout,
I won't go still.
I shall rant and rave until,
you find my words
so very shrill!

My love for you,
so very strong
that I will just
be pulled along,
like a fish right
on the hook,
I'm a dusty
open book.

Hear me whine
and hear me plead!
Can you not
hear my soul sing?
Tell me 

what...
is happening...
and listen

to my pleading rings.