Over and Over

Not sure what to say or do.
Still obsessing over you.
Sleep won't come, no appetite,
no more feelings of delight.
Why do I feel like we're done,
when we have not yet begun?
We barely talk, nothing to share,
both our hearts are cold and bare.
I do not feel I'm the one,
that you love, our time is done.
Would have loved you all my days,
with you, wanted to laugh and play.
But I guess that will not be,
I am too full of suffering.
My heart, broken before we met,
I can't be fixed, already set.
On depression grim and deep,
how my eyes so often weep.
And so I slowly fade away,
until the not so distant day,
when we end this tragic play.

Sad Morning

Once again I think of you,

As I wake and always do,

But I only sit and stew,

Feeling lonely sad and blue.

I just don’t know what to do,

I can’t even talk to you,

No good morning or I love you.

Words we share not even few.

I try to banish my love

Calling out to God above,

But it will not go away

I guess it is here to stay.

Why do I still even care,

When I know you won’t be there,

Already laid my heart bare,

Covered now with bleeding tears.

But I know it’s my own fault,

Being lost in blackest dark,

Did not consider your heart,

Barely let our love even start.

Could not take my own advice,

To be patient kind and nice,

Now I must pay horrid price,

I have chased her far now thrice!

I just can’t even feel right,

What has happened to my might?

For a week I was so bright,

Now I weep sad and contrite.

Just could not leave you alone

Now I gnash my teeth and moan

Writhe and cry with feeble groans

Heart and soul so very prone

I can’t write this anymore,

My soul is so very torn,

And I feel far too forlorn,

Our love I will always mourn.

Said you Loved me

Said you loved me, you were scared.

Bottled feelings rarely shared.

Tried to help and tried too hard.

We could not go very far.

Said that you would help forever

Even though we’re not together

But you left me all alone,

Never caring for my moans.

Should have known that love could die,

But at least you really tried.

I’m a talker you are not,

So you just leave me to rot.

Tried to show how much I loved,

But I guess I really shoved.

Swallowed demons by the legions

Each and ev’ry place and region.

Howled for you so very hard,

Played the poet and the bard.

Now you hate me and I weep

As my blood begins to seep

From my eyes and from my soul

Lay me down inside my hole.

Chased my mate so far away,

Never had the chance to play.

No more hope for love have I

All that I can do is cry.

I guess I am just insane,

My visions are really lame.

Guess my brain is sick and frail

Since I hear the spirits’ wails.

Who can love a crazy man

With no ambition or plans?

Never want another mate

All they ever do is hate.

But I must always reveal

All the things I think are real.

Love's Keening Wail of Death

Oh please, oh no, say it is not so!

My love has now told me to go.

Said to me with heart of stone:

“Show your face to me no more

And just leave me the hell alone!

You are dark as earthen loam!

Never shall you bring me home!

Your mouth it froths with rabid foam!”

How can I learn to stow this woe

Which permeates my very soul?

Now I wander to and fro

Fighting my eternal foe

With no spear nor knife nor bow,

Only pain ‘pon me bestowed.

Love for me shall never grow,

A pleasure I shall never know,

Death for me comes far too slow.

Let my eyes be picked by crows.

God I beg thee take me home,

Or let me fall so far below,

For I no longer wish to roam.

Turn the last page of my tome

As I kneel before your throne

Let me keen my final tone

All this to thee I do bemoan.

Unstarted Unfinished

This isn't going to work, is it.

Feed me platitudes.

The pretty lies that make us weep.

Forever unfinished, for we never started.

You obviously are not very interested in me.

That's how I feel, I can't deny it.

Nor will I try to any longer.

Always knew love was a myth.

Why do I even bother to seek it?

Its as if I try to catch God in my hand.

You are always there, talking to someone.

But I, get to hang in limbo.

Not that I blame you of course.

There's nothing to talk about.

Not with me at least.

I won't play head games.

Don't play hard to get.

It is a useless ploy on me.

At least you are able to love again.

Meaning What?

I don't mean to sound contrived

but I don't want to be alive.

Into death to take a dive

so deep that I do not survive.

Set me free from mortal chore

for life is such a horrid bore.

I just don't like it anymore

and want to walk the golden shore.

Each day is harder than the last

one that has come and now is past.

Untie me now from the mast

for misery is unsurpassed.

Every second getting closer

to the day I am no more sir.

Thought I could be a composer

but I was only a poser.

I wish tonight I could have slept

so death my life could intercept.

In my rest upon me crept

so dawn from my eyes was kept.

I think I should end my life

with pills or jump or  steely knife.

I'm just tired of the strife

the tragedy and pain so rife.

I am going to sleep now

and hope and pray and plead somehow.

That the gods do not allow

mine eyes to open on my brow.

Thought at first that love could save me

from my head so weak and hazy.

Now it seems a thought so crazy

for thoughts of hope were far too hasty.

And I know that somebody

will show her these words that I bleed.

Then she'll run farther from me

and her face I will never see.

Wish we could have had a chance

besides this long distance romance.

I am lost within my trance

and now within my mind we dance.

I love you so very much

that I know I am just a crutch.

My love for you now is such

that I won't taint you with my touch.

One day you will forget me

it won't be very hard you see.

At least then you will be free

from my epic tragedy.

Ignore Me Please

 Ignore me, it's cool, see, there's nothing, that I need, to do, anymore.

for soon I, will be freed, there will be, no stressing, or raps on, my door.

The best thing, for you'd be, to try and, forget me, I am, no more.

Times seem, to seek the, impending, transiting, the end of the, chore.

Love me, and hate me, berate me and fake me,

I don't see, further need, to not be, absentee,

I'm losing, and sinking, back into, my hole.

Don't try to save me, forget me, flee from me,

can't banish this feeling, I won't try any more.

You won't, talk to me, it has been, for days see

Even though, I plead, and cry on my knees, we

are lost in the storm.

It was nice, knowing thee, but now we're just joking.

Why try, anymore?