nothing is better than nothing

Nothing is better than nothing!

Nothing, oh isn't it GRAND!

I show you, everyone, nothing,

If you will just take my hand!

Far beyond the outmost reaches

of our very own existence

something so malignant tries to hide.

I can feel it lurking there

just like a cloud up in the air

made of such an unforgiving tide.

I will not tell you its name

for it would drive us all insane,

its the madness we all hide inside.

I've fallen, too far

to ever come back home.

I've fallen, too far,

I will always be alone.

https://soundcloud.com/nobody_at_all/gibber?utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

nothing is better than nothing

Nothing is better than nothing!

Nothing, oh isn't it GRAND!

I show you, everyone, nothing,

If you will just take my hand!

Far beyond the outmost reaches

of our very own existence

something so malignant tries to hide.

I can feel it lurking there

just like a cloud up in the air

made of such an unforgiving tide.

I will not tell you its name

for it would drive us all insane,

its the madness we all hide inside.

I've fallen, too far

to ever come back home.

I've fallen, too far,

I will always be alone.

Drowning

And I don't know why I still love you.
I don't know why I even care.
I don't know why I'm still thinking of you,
when I know you'll never be there.
I swear, I swear.
In my heart,
In my mind,
I am drowning all the time.
Just can't see the light.
I don't know,
what to do.
Still broken over you,
broken over you.

Undeserving

I am a putrid cesspool of depression and despair.
Let me dwell in the dark plane,
curled in a ball atop my wall.
I am forgotten existence,
a well of nothingness.
Never remaining happy,
a lost child,
heart, mind, and soul.
A pillar of gibbering insanity,
let me finish my work.
I will write,
until my final word flows,
upon the parchment of my demise.
All the things I used to enjoy,
faded from my id.
The super ego writhing in its death throws.
I am undeserving of love.

Meaning What?

I don't mean to sound contrived

but I don't want to be alive.

Into death to take a dive

so deep that I do not survive.

Set me free from mortal chore

for life is such a horrid bore.

I just don't like it anymore

and want to walk the golden shore.

Each day is harder than the last

one that has come and now is past.

Untie me now from the mast

for misery is unsurpassed.

Every second getting closer

to the day I am no more sir.

Thought I could be a composer

but I was only a poser.

I wish tonight I could have slept

so death my life could intercept.

In my rest upon me crept

so dawn from my eyes was kept.

I think I should end my life

with pills or jump or  steely knife.

I'm just tired of the strife

the tragedy and pain so rife.

I am going to sleep now

and hope and pray and plead somehow.

That the gods do not allow

mine eyes to open on my brow.

Thought at first that love could save me

from my head so weak and hazy.

Now it seems a thought so crazy

for thoughts of hope were far too hasty.

And I know that somebody

will show her these words that I bleed.

Then she'll run farther from me

and her face I will never see.

Wish we could have had a chance

besides this long distance romance.

I am lost within my trance

and now within my mind we dance.

I love you so very much

that I know I am just a crutch.

My love for you now is such

that I won't taint you with my touch.

One day you will forget me

it won't be very hard you see.

At least then you will be free

from my epic tragedy.

:O AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

My thought processes are busted,

swatches of my mind rusted,

so maladjusted I'm disgusted,

with myself, above all else,

this shell, locked in a hellish cell,

with a keening knell I can not dispel!

I must attest, that my mind is a gibbering mess,

I lust for rest, it's high time to end this bantering stress!

I need to be free of this anxiety before it kills me you see!

Already on my knees, as I plead, for release, surrounded, by my own debris!

Too many pieces are missing.

I'm pissing away all my time!

I can feel everything slipping,

dripping right out of my mind!

Here I am writhing and twisting,

wishing I wasn't confined!

Who tell me who is still listening?

I'm listing here on my side!

My head, will not stay still!

I'm filled, with dreadful trills.

So shrill, I'm feeling so ill,

gonna spill, my guts....

I''m going nuts!

A mental klutz!

If life's a joke, then I'm the butt.

Steel

Steel myself, for the worst,

still I know that it will hurt.

My heart is already broken,

From the words that lie unspoken.

Stumbling through a freezing blizzard,

barren lands frozen and withered,

hoping I will be delivered,

as I trudge so weak and shivered.

Arctic desert, hear its chime,

stretching till the dawn of time,

just a sliver of the rind,

of which lies inside  my mind.

Sheath my heart, metallic ice,

blanket it, much more than thrice,

numbness can, feel mighty nice,

when it is, your own device.

Force myself, to just not care,

about what will, or will not bear,

fruit praiseworthy, of its share.

Without trees, the orchard's bare.

Iron, copper, in my blood,

I can taste it, on my tongue,

I am golem, I am mud,

Irony, of atoms strung.

Ever looming constant battle,

tenuous defense from babble,

tempestuously tinny rattle,

tempest tossed, I try to grapple

with the thoughts within my head,

that so mal ig nan tly sperad.

"Think of other things instead"?

I TRY! But all I hear is DREAD!

Smoke another cigarette,

yoke up with some more regret,

frantically fight not to fret,

and lose, as I break out in sweat.

So I'll mire here alone,

whispering my haunting tone,

blowing on with dreary drone,

only reaping what I've sown.

Whyning Plea

I am not worthy of your time.

Not worth more than a "hey" or 'hi".

Not worth a goodnight reply.

Do you want to say goodbye?

You say that you don't ignore me,

but that's exactly how it seems!

Now the heartache starts to team,

and I unravel at my seams.

If you want to let me go,

then PLEASE just hurry up and do so!

I already feel so low,

what's more pain for me to sow?

 Do not waste your time on me,

I am only misery,

In time I guess you will see,

and then you'll want to be set free.

The Start of the Fall

Its how it starts,
The little lies,
That brings the tears
to lovers' eyes.

"I love you",
yes,
this I know,
but it takes more
than words to show,
that which heals
and makes us grow,
I want to free us
from the snow.

As I am shut out,
I will,
fight and shout,
I won't go still.
I shall rant and rave until,
you find my words
so very shrill!

My love for you,
so very strong
that I will just
be pulled along,
like a fish right
on the hook,
I'm a dusty
open book.

Hear me whine
and hear me plead!
Can you not
hear my soul sing?
Tell me 

what...
is happening...
and listen

to my pleading rings.