Thought Wreckage

     seem
I                 "to've" forgotten,


"dis-"                                         say.
         "intended"
                           to
        this
'Pon        ve-
                     ry
                           instance
pre-
       cise-
               ly  today.
                                hope
                      'bout
            thing
Some-

I
   was
           going
                     to
                          write.
      as
Yet     with
                   these lines
it all
         just

                        seems
quite...


                        trite.

First TST NFT

The waking nightmare

My life is a constant nightmare
of pain
trepidation
paranoia
and fear.
Unable to even live my life.
 They are watching.Judging.
Scheming.
Playing with my well being.
Look....
Look at what you have DONE TO ME!
I am a shell of a man
trudging through the pain
the best way I can.
Mustering the meager strength and resolve left to me.
The travelers
shall do their best....
to ruin my life in totality,
even worse than they already have.
Know this.
You have made me
what I now am.

Never child

Once looked back in time to see,
Blindness blindness,  see for me.
One young child stared at the Sun,
To scorch a delicate scar across the face of frightful dreams.
Standing on the only piece of earth not fallen.
Better to fall with the rest,
Than to carry that load on such a perch.
Never remembering the wings
Or how the small shoulders bled.

Possession

Black shadows settle over me.
Hallow beings of misery.
How they tear,
Mind's flesh,
It bleeds.
Know thee,
Epic tragedies.

Deep pervasive anarchy.
Hunger that has no relief.
Sorrow with thirst never slaked.
With horror soul always raked.

Death would be a welcome gift.
One that pain will finally lift.
Could not wish for more than this.
Embrace now the reapers kiss.

Determination^-1

Notebook in hand,
I wander around.
But i have nothing to write
Anymore.
Junk like this
Doesn't count.
Who watches now?
Anybody?
I doubt it.
I am a master of invisibility.
My eyes burn.
Itchy scalp and sore muscles.
Churning guts and bitten tongue.
The void has once again settled
Into my chest.
That orb of anxiety and panic,
The malignant leech suckles.
A desire to drink myself into oblivion
Surfaces as oil.
It's not that hard to deny,
for now.
Anything to quell this empty

Useless feeling.
My head is stabbed
with ice picks.
Lancing painfulness.
Legs, feet, knees, back.
They all cry out to me.
I can barely keep my eyes open...
Broken, down.

dream of you

I had a dream of you last night,
It had filled me with delight.
Then I woke and realized,
It was all just one big lie.
Torture born from my own mind.

The Drums

The Drums [ An Ode to Poe's "the Bells"

1


Hear the beating of the drums -


   Urban drums!


What disrespect and danger that their dreadful droning thrums!


   They go thumpy thumpy thumpy


In the day and in the night!


   With people waking from their slumber


All the heavens start to wonder


   Why is peace and quiet torn asunder;


Going BOOM BOOM BOOM


   Foretelling societal doom


Oh the beatimbambulation that so arrogantly thrums


  From the drums, drums, drums, drums, drums.


From the beatimbambulation of the drums.


2


 You can always hear the drums


   Droning drums


What monstrous cacophony arises from their sums!


   All day long, throughout the night


Hear them pounding out their spite


   From the rolling golden amps,


Forevermore.


   What a caustic chorus floats


To ears of those, who hear the notes


   In the night.


Oh, from out the gating guns


   What an air of disrespect perpetually thrums!


   How it thrums!


   How it BRUMS!


In the present how it comes


   Of the blindness that it's from.


Oh the beating and the booming


   Of the drums drums drums


Of the drums drums drums drums drums.


Oh the racing an the basing of the drums.



3




Hear the midnight drums


   Brazen drums!


From your slumber wakened now, just when you thought it done.


   There is no more peace in night


As Poe says "they scream out their [fright]"


   "Too much horrified to speak"


"They can only shriek, shriek, shriek,"


   "Out of tune."

Heart of stone

My heart is stone,
Igneous rock.
Wrapped in chains
With sturdy lock.
Garbed in whole
By frigid frock.

I am monk,
Of pain and rage.
Railing madness
On this stage.
Gladly locked
Within my cage.

Care no more
If I exist.
Glorious
And blinding bliss.
I am nothing
More than this.

My life, it,
Is not my own.
I am but
A haunting tone.
Forever more
To be alone.

No one looks,
And no one cares.
I am stripped
So fully bare.
Of me you,
Should now beware.

For i have
Not one thing left.
God has kicked me
From the cleft.
Of joy i,
Am now bereft.

Joy and love and hope
Are lies.
All that I
Have left
Is ice.
Numbness though,
Is mighty nice.