Dreadfully Numb

Numbing dread consumes my soul.
Anxiety and despair rule me.
All I feel is this terrible void inside my chest.
I flail in futility, grasping feebly towards a silver cord.
Falling, pieces shattering yet again, a sub-atomic implosion.
I struggle to find the words to describe the sensation.
It is infinitesimal void.
A sheer lack of anything that stretches into the negative realm.
I try to center myself, and fail.
A scream rises from the depths of nothing,
sending shivers across my spine.
Stubbornly, I crouch behind my eyes.
Watching, waiting for my time to spring.
I shall not fall, without a fight.
This I vow,
kicking, biting, and screaming into the great nothingness.

I wish

I wish everyone
would just forget that I exist.
There is nothing in my life
I wish for more than this.
Except maybe that,
I just, did not exist at all.
Welcome to the viewing
of the start of my own fall.

nothing is better than nothing

Nothing is better than nothing!

Nothing, oh isn't it GRAND!

I show you, everyone, nothing,

If you will just take my hand!

Far beyond the outmost reaches

of our very own existence

something so malignant tries to hide.

I can feel it lurking there

just like a cloud up in the air

made of such an unforgiving tide.

I will not tell you its name

for it would drive us all insane,

its the madness we all hide inside.

I've fallen, too far

to ever come back home.

I've fallen, too far,

I will always be alone.

https://soundcloud.com/nobody_at_all/gibber?utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

nothing is better than nothing

Nothing is better than nothing!

Nothing, oh isn't it GRAND!

I show you, everyone, nothing,

If you will just take my hand!

Far beyond the outmost reaches

of our very own existence

something so malignant tries to hide.

I can feel it lurking there

just like a cloud up in the air

made of such an unforgiving tide.

I will not tell you its name

for it would drive us all insane,

its the madness we all hide inside.

I've fallen, too far

to ever come back home.

I've fallen, too far,

I will always be alone.

Dad Is Funny

I might get drunk in the morning,
I might get drunk at night. *
Another ol country song,
get er done.

Let it end

Block your number from my phone.
Resign myself to be alone.
Rebuild walls around my heart,
Ones that can not fall apart.
Jaded, jealous, full of rage.
Turn the story's final page.
Take the hints you often give,
Learn to very simply, live.

Untitled crap

I'm so stressed,
its a test
and I'm failing it.
Been blessed,
but I just
ain't feelin' it.
Doin' time,
on the grind,
each and everyday.
No time,
anymore
just to laugh and play.
Everything,
is so bleak
and so dark and gray.
All I,
want to do
is just go away.
Blow away,
like the dust
upon the wind.
I'm done,
this is a game
I can not win.

silence

a time of silence descends upon me.
i try to call out yet nobody hears me.
as if, I do not exist.
shifted
     for a few seconds.
Palpable,  worthy of notice.

With myself I stand alone.
Emptiness surrounds.
Like a bat I navigate
by only sensing sounds.

Nothing is there
And I begin
to ponder again
if nothing could exist
except me.

The only true realization....
I know nothing.

another goodnight and the loss of one more

let me ask this.
did you tell them goodnight
tonight?
about, 7,575 seconds ago?
after you told me ":>"
in response to my outpouring of aspirations?
Was I not worth that one goodnight?
I thought we both knew,
how few,
we had left.

Pondering

From the day I left your side,
You started letting me go.
Granted,  you admitted as much.
Do you even understand how much you hurt me?
"I don't reply because I just don't care."
"I won't remember your birthday."
"I won't remember our anniversary."
Oh, how it struck me to the very core.
I will show you what it really means
To be cold and indifferent.
The pain was too much to bear.
I have had much experience
With a broken heart.
It is becoming easier
To accept that you just don't care anymore.